A subject too complicated and personal to be served by text. Here's an audioBoo I recorded to pose a question. If you can be bothered to listen to it all, then I value your opinion.
I'm not proposing the drugs don't help - or that I stop them without doctors guidance. I'm just suggesting that daily thoughts, weekly appointments and monthly reviews, along with CBT and CAT can only really guarantee one thing - that my life remains full of reminders that I have suffered a mental breakdown and am considered mentally ill.
My new life, away from the stress of London living, in peace and with no urgency at any point, is anxiety free, stress free, depression free....and currently Psychiatrist free. I'm due to sign up with the health service....and frankly, I've found my closer proximity to family, fresh air, exercise and quiet are doing more for me than any of the 'mental health services' I've been offered could.
I'll leave the rest for the recording. I don't want to feel like a victim / patient any more. I want to move on. I'm not 'in denial' - I know i'm suffering from a mental illness and will go straight to the doctor if the panic attacks return, or the self isolation,....or depression. I'm not stupid. What I am sick of though, is having a life dominated by a kind of 'patient psychosis'. It's made worse by the shoddy state of mental health care provided by the NHS. I can do without it I think....and if I get a little low, there's always my vegetable patch to talk to ;)
2 comments:
Colt, my dear sweet friend. I promise I will listen to this at the end of the day. Today is a bit crazy, now Rick has to go in to work for just a few. Which means what we had planned will be squished into even less hours. I came here to make sure I did not lose you because of the stupid Buzz fools.
Karen Zimmerman
*hugs you tight* Let that keep you until I get back!!
Colt, you sweet, sweet man. YOu do not have to go with what I am about to say, it was for me. But I want to share with you. I come from an abusive home. My father beat my mother any chance he got and would do so for hours. Always on Holidays, so my christmas was filled with lights and shiny things and blood and brusies.
Many thoughtI might need the same services as you. when I got to be 12 he began to beat me, before that, I was Daddys little Italian Princess. I took it for 3 1/2 years, all the while running away trying to escpae. When I finally did I went with my mother , who had abandoned me to him, of course to save herself. think about that for a minute. anyway..I have never gotten professional helps. I am strong willed and spirited. I vowed to myself to make life different for myself and my kids.I did it. Not saying there weren;t times I felt totally insane. I did. but I made it. No drungs, no shrinks..just sheer determination NOT to be like the tree I fell from.
And sometimes a change of sitiuation did it for me.
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